Day 18 – April 7, 2011

I have always liked the late hours of the evening. For some reason, it seems to be during those hours that I get my rush of energy and inspiration. Last night was one of those. We came back late from Mr. Grasshopper's interview and it was at that time that I sat down to talk to you. After that, I decided to "take a look" at my materials for the class today and, being the perfectionist that I am in what's related to my classes, I decided the materials were inadequate and started working on them. To make a long story short, Yours Truly went to bed at 3 am, eagerly awaiting the sound of the alarm clock at 6 am. NOT! (you know the story between me and my alarm clock. Not much love there.).
Amazingly enough, I did get a chance to put in 15 minutes of meditation and made sure that Mr. G and I had breakfast and left the house on time. This morning again the ride with him was insightful. He said something pretty deep to me. We were talking about positive thinking, even when you don't like the person or the circumstances, and he said: "Some people think that if you look for the positive in everybody, you are weak. And they think that because they don't know that the more you love, the stronger you become." Ladies and Gentlemen, let's hear it for Mr. Grasshopper!
Class today was wonderful. As always. I looove my students. This group is very, very nice. By the time I got home I was tired, but very happy. I helped the Grasshopper with some homework, then I cooked a delicious and very simple dinner, and then I started working on the materials for the last day of this training course.
Today I started focusing on the negative. I started feeling the "lack" of things. It all started because somebody asked me something about my schedule and I realized I did not have any work days scheduled for… for… ever? I suddenly felt like if someone had pulled the rug from under my feet. But why now? It has been like this for a few months. There are weeks when I have plenty of work and weeks when I have none. Well, for a moment there I felt vulnerable. I forgot my god-self and focused on the reality of "what is." I even questioned how come I am a channel for this amazing energy and this beautiful message, and I still have to struggle. Wasn't I supposed to be chilling by now? I forgot that the Universe IS at my feet and that all I have to do is give it full control while I get good at having fun. I still think that I (the physical, mental me) am the doer when in fact all I do is delay the response from the Universe. All in all I have come a looooooong way from where I was when I started with this channeling deal. I can declare, right here and right now, that I am a much relaxed and happier person thanks to this spiritual transformation. But, like The Boys love saying, we are all a work in progress. We are always growing and expanding, so I too go through my not-so-comfy contrasts that make shake. But after all of this I realize that I HAVE BEEN chilling all this time; that I have been enjoying and growing all this time. It is only that today, for a moment, I chose to focus on "lack." Oh, how powerful thoughts are. I'm not kidding you. Today in a matter of minutes, I went from joy and appreciation to having almost palpitations of how dark the future felt all of a sudden.
The good thing is that by now I am used to keep an eye on my emotions and the minute I realized I was sliding down the path of self-pity and worry, I took a deep breath and literally looked for something that felt better. So what did I do? I politely left the group I was conversing with and focus on another group that was holding what seemed to be a much lighter conversation. At least much lighter for me! I realized that by answering more questions and getting deeper into the subject, I was just going to go further down the spiral. No need for that. Better stay happy. I am very happy to report that I feel completely renewed now. I took just a few minutes to meditate while the bird was in the cooking box and like magic, it brought my vibration back up. I tell you! It's better than anything you may have tried. I don't think I've said it enough: meditation is the key to happiness. Period.
My butterfly showed up bright and early this morning as I was walking towards the building where I am teaching. It was of a yellowish-green color. Bright and happy. It just fluttered around me, flaunting her beauty, and then took off to brighten somebody else's day.
Well friend. Thank you again for staying with me. I read all of your messages. I enjoy and appreciate them tremendously.
It is exciting to think that you are reading these words in many different countries all around the world. Big cities, small towns. At home or at work. Thank you for giving me some of your time!
Sweet dreams! Ta-da for now!
PS I came back to edit the font color on this. Just for you my dear friend!