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Sunday, August 7, 2011

Days 129 & 130 – August 6 & 7, 2011

It's funny how sometimes we mask our own emotions from ourselves because we don't want to face the fact that the emotions that we are holding may not be all that positive. We put our best foot forward in hopes that that not-so-positive emotion will dissolve and become a thing of the past. And many times that is exactly what happens. There are other times, though, when you think you've got it all figured out and it only takes a word or a song to bring all those emotions right up to the surface. That has been the case with the imminent departure of Diva to the city that never sleeps. I had been putting my best face about this whole thing and really ignoring the fact that deep inside (not that deep, actually) I felt this profound not-so-positive feeling in my stomach about it. Well, the day before this one I met with a non-related relation whose offspring is taking off to the city of romance. His idea of the journey is similar to that of Diva. He is pursuing a dream. He wanted to have a chat with The Boys prior to leaving and so I stopped by to see them. After his chat with The Boys, my dear non-related relation unloaded her fears and sadness about his upcoming departure. Everything was fine and dandy until she said: "Just to think that he is moving out; he is leaving the house and I won't be able to see him walk in the door every day; that kills me." That's all it took for me to realize that I had been hiding these very same feelings under a cover of excitement for her. So later in the evening, when I got to the palace and was having a conference with the fluffy, I allowed myself to let those tears roll and get it out of my system. That too is a form of relieve and I so appreciated the fact that I was able, first to recognize that those feelings were lurking somewhere in the back of my thinking apparatus, and second that I allowed them to come out in the form or water from my eyes. I'm not going to say that now I am ecstatic about her departure, but I can tell you that I feel much more at ease. And you want to know something? Meditation is the key. I'm not kidding! If it weren't for the daily meditation dose, I truly think that I would be a basket case by now. You see, meditation gives you that edge; that powerful stance that keeps you standing when you feel like breaking down into tiny little pieces. I know some of you are thinking "But you broke down and cried." I see crying not as self pity but as an escape valve. It was my way of letting go of the resistance that was building up inside of me. Once I was able to do that, then the resistance disappeared.

And so, having taken that out of the way… let me remember what else happened this weekfinal? Well, Lord 1 and Lord 2 were out and offered for us to play in their water hole. So we asked the Manager and the Sensible One to come join us. It was the Sensible One's anniversary of his arrival to the hologram, so we made that our excuse for an impromptu get together. Only us. It was so much fun and so rewarding. THANKS TO THE UNIVERSE FOR AMAZING NEIGHBORS! As we were having a good time around the H2O my dear butterfly came by to greet us. She was small and of a very pale yellow color. Just lovely. The weather has been so not-cold lately that I haven't seen many of our friends around, so I took it as a sign that the Universe is paying close attention.

Today was the perfect example of a lazy Sunday. I woke up at the regular ungodly hour to do the phone work, then I went back to slumber for little longer, then had our amazing Sunday Morning Call, and then went right back to the nest and slumbered for about 3 more hours. Mmmmmmmmmm! That felt heavenly!!! The rest of the day was spent enjoying the palace and the offspring. I can't think of a better way to spend my time, can you?

Now it's time to join our dear friend fluffy and drift away into slumber. Loved talking to you again.
Hasta mañana!

1 comment:

siempre viva said...

Emotions are amazing! good for you that see them and express them just for what they are, let those wonderful tears come out of you every time you feel them coming like a wonderful relieve and a very powerful tool of transformation you will see how little by little they will come less and less don't repress anything channel, nothing, let all flow....
I love you and I have an amazing something-happened to tell you...yes about you!!!!